Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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