not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
