when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
