I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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