i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
