I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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