I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
