your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
