Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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