girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
