So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
