idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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