im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
