Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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