What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We are two peas in an std pod
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
