people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
