I skipped work to stalk him.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
