I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize