I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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