and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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