My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
