butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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