we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
