There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
