Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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