i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
