put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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