I can text with my tongue
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
