We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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