This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize