lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
