I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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