I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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