I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
