wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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