She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
