I need help removing her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
