It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
