Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So many bounce houses so little time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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