We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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