i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
