Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
