Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
