You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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