Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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