I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
