Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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