Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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