I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just threw up on my dentist
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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