when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize
