Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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