i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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