did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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