I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
