I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
