Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
