We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
