Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
