wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
