He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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