Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
