I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
