Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
whose parrot is this?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
