I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
